Reason to LOVE my life #1

This is the view from my kitchen window.

Amazing.

love

Hello.

You know that feeling you get when it’s been way too long since you’ve talked to a good friend? You want to call them and say hi but you missed their birthday or you forgot to send them a Christmas card or it’s just been so darn long that you wonder if they even want to talk to you anymore (much less remember you). I’ve been feeling like that lately.

I love this little blog (if I do say so myself!). It’s like a friend to me. A place where I can share a bit of myself and try to make sense of this funny little life of mine. I like to look back and remember little snippets here and there that the sands of time so easily sift from my mind. To recall how I was feeling in a particular season, funny things our kids said, moments I was thankful for (or, not so thankful as the case may be). There is so much beauty in everyday. This blog helps me to see it in my own life.

Sometimes, or to be more honest, OFTEN, I get overwhelmed by my life. These early years with our children are just so encompassing. Our daily life is full to overflowing. I struggle to balance all the parts of our life. Marriage, kids, relationships, our business, dreams, laundry… It’s hard to know how to fit it all in, do it well and LOVE it along the way. When I begin to feel like I’m not managing the flesh and blood part of our life well, I tend not to visit here as often as I would like. I write daily in my HEAD but it often doesn’t get translated here. I take pictures that I want to share with you but then get swamped and by the time I get around to sitting on my couch and opening a browser, the moment has passed or I can’t remember what it was I wanted to say.

January was a hard month for me. 2009 felt a lot like a snowball rolling out of control down the side of a mountain. By the time December came, it was so huge that it just swallowed up everything in it’s path and then crashed right into 2010. I am tired. Drained, really. I’ve also been sad. Annoyingly, stupidly sad and I wish that I wasn’t but I have been. Lots of good things have happened. I’ve laughed quite a bit but I’ve also cried more than I would like. I’ve spent too much time staring out a window and then regretting the wasted minutes. I’ve spent more days in my pajamas than is probably reasonable. That’s just the truth of where I’m at. It’s an uphill battle. A daily choice.

At the beginning of January I decided that my “theme” for 2010 would be LOVE. When I open my eyes and choose to see, love surrounds me. The love of God envelopes my days and cradles my life. I might not have it all figured out, but I do know this, we all need love. We crave it. We thrive on it. Love validates our humanity and assures us that we are not alone. That we matter. Life can be messy. But when it’s covered in love, it is beautiful. Love is EVERYWHERE, it’s just a matter of choosing to see it. That’s what I want to do this year. Find love in the everyday. In the little moments. The unexpected places. To choose to see love, even when I feel sad for no particular reason.

Thanks for visiting here. Your comments and e-mails make me feel loved.

(Seen on the hood of a car on the way to the park.)

mamamade

I realize that it is the 13th of January and that the rest of the internet is done with their Christmas recaps, 2009 summaries and hopes for 2010. Unfortunately, I’M NOT THERE YET! So stay with me while I do a little reflecting, summing up and resoluting over the next week or so (stress the so…).

One of the best parts of 2009 for me was the rediscovery of my creativity. In the years of figuring out how to be married, having kids, making a home and all the rest of it, I lost myself. I put myself so far on the back burner that I couldn’t really remember me any more. Last year was a year of self discovery. A sort of finding myself. Remembering what I like. What I’m good at. What gives me life. Taking time for myself and feeling good about it.

Last year I really started to tap into my creative side again. Once I started making things, I couldn’t stop. With each new thing I sewed or knit or photographed, 10 more ideas were born in my head. I love to make things. To create beauty with my own hands. To pour a part of myself into a gift for someone I love. That is why it was so important to me to make something special for each of our children this Christmas. To think of something they would love, design it, pick out just the right colours and then work late into many nights finishing each gift. I cried when they opened their gifts because I had poured so much love into each of them and was so sure they would LOVE them. I guess it’s a way for me to say “I love you” and for our children to have something tangible they can look back on and know that their Mom knew them well enough to make just the right thing. Know what I mean?

Today I wanted to share with you the gifts I made our children. Nothing I made was rocket science but it was from my heart, especially for each of the precious little people born to me.

My eldest is an artist at heart. For the last few months he has been working on a number of paintings and drawings in the hopes of having his own art show one day (Coincidentally, one of my goals for this year is to help him set up his first art show. I can’t wait!). He spends hours drawing and painting.

I knew that my budding artist needed an art supply holder that he could haul around with him. I crafted this handy little roll up one for him out of heavy wool felt (although next time I would likely make it out of a heavy fabric so it could be washed).

It’s a dark chocolate colour on the outside so it won’t show the dirt it will inevitably pick up (and because dark chocolate is one of our shared loves) and bright blue on the inside to match his eyes. The “ribbon” is made from a scrap of fabric left over from his brother’s gift. The boys LOVE to have things that match so I wanted to co-ordinate their gifts a bit. I filled it with sketching markers (but it could easily hold coloured pencils, brushes, etc.) and wrapped it with a sketch book. To say that he loves it is an understatement! He has slept with it tucked under his pillow most night since Christmas and has dragged it with him nearly every time we’ve left the house.

For our beautiful daughter, I made a sparkly purple tutu. She is a princess (Diva?) at heart. She is also OBSESSED with the colour purple. And sparkles. And ballet. It was a natural fit.

I made this little tutu for her to wear whenever the mood struck: playing dress up, eating breakfast, napping in the afternoon, ballet class (she was a bit sad that she didn’t have a fancy tutu like some of the other girls). She feels beautiful in it and that is JUST how I see her and how I want her to see herself.

For our littlest one, I made a night-night bag (and may I state for the record that the idea originated for him?).

It is made out of a dark denim with a bright, fun “kitty-cat” fabric, with some stripes and zigzags for interest. Here’s a look at it inside out:

I love this bag but more importantly, my little guy ADORES it! He loves to fill it with his “track-ors”, cars mooo-vie cars and random other bits he gathers from around the house. We take it with us wherever we go now. When we are heading out the door, he often stops and asks, “gots mine bag?”. It has been really helpful numerous times already at restaurants, the church nursery and long drives in the car.

Making these things for my children (and the other kids I made gifts for), filled me with so much joy this Christmas. I can’t wait to start on the next 20 projects I’ve got in mind!

lost

BIG NEWS! Our girl lost her first tooth today! Hurray. We are all so excited and proud and a little bit sad (but that’s probably just me).

In true form, there was much drama surrounding this tooth. It has been loose for a few weeks now and has been the subject of much discussion, wiggling and prodding. Last week her poor little tooth began to hurt. We thought it was maybe a result of the daily abuse it was suffering and suggested that our lovely daughter leave it the heck alone for even a few minutes. Then a couple of days ago, I noticed a small lump forming behind the loose tooth. I figured that it was just the adult tooth moving up and told her that her big tooth might come in before she lost the baby one just like her big brother’s first tooth had done. That her teeth would follow the same pattern as her big, very admired (most days) brother was cause for much celebration!

Yesterday when she bit into an apple she yelped in pain and began to cry quite earnestly. I examined her tooth closely and was more than a little disturbed to see what I thought looked a lot like puss (yes, puss), oozing out around the base of her tooth. YUCK! We kept an eye on the tooth and when I checked this morning there was an enormous lump behind her tooth and a veritable river of puss (OK, I exaggerate but just a bit) coming from her gums. Needless to say, I was on the phone with the dentist a few minutes later. This afternoon when the dentist looked in her mouth he exclaimed, “Oh, my! What a lot of puss!”. It turns out she somehow developed an acute infection underneath her loose tooth. GROSS! Since it was already loose and she is as brave as any lion I’ve ever known, the easiest course of action was to remove the offending tooth. Some sleepy gel, 2 needles (that she didn’t even flinch at) and a little wiggling from the dentist’s tools and her tooth was out! Very helpfully, the dentist suggested that the tooth fairy would probably leave her something extra because she was so brave. He’s good that way- always looking out for the best interest of his patients!

All the drama fit our girl. A rare infection is just her style! We’re just hoping that the rest of her teeth come out on their own or it’s going to be an expensive undertaking!

resurfacing

Happy New Year! I can hardly believe that it’s 20-10. It seems like just a couple of years ago that we were all in a tizzy about the world collapsing as a new millennium dawned. Fortunately, Y2K was a total bust (I wonder how many people are still using up the water and canned goods they stored up?). Since then Mr. T and I have both gotten our BA’s (and me a couple of classes away from an MA), lived in 3 different provinces, birthed 3 children, bought 2 houses, had many jobs and then finally started our own company… wow those 10 years passed quickly!

But I digress…

December was a crazy, crazy month. Sometimes I think it was awesome. Sometimes I feel like it chewed us up and spit us out. As always, I wonder how we can slow it down and simplify. We did so much. There was our big party, too many hours of work, lots of late, late night crafting, decorating, cooking, laughing with friends, spending time with family far and near, presents, presents, presents, a 5K race, music, pictures, wine, traditions, a piano recital and woven through it all, the Light of the World.

I give you December.

perfection

Please gaze upon the loveliness of this child.

Oh, those little lips.

That curl.

Be still my heart.

santa

This guy recently came home with the GREATEST letter to Santa. So great, I HAD to share it with you. Punctuation and spelling intact.

December 3, 2009

Dear Santa,

How are your reindeer? Is Ruddolph doing well? You have gone for a test flight, haven’t you? You and Mrs. Claws should deliver the presents together. How are your elves. Are they working yet and together. I play three Christmas songs! I’ll tell you what they are. We wish you a merry Christmas, Away in the manger and Jingel Bells. What is your favourite cookie? My mom makes excellent sugar cookies! We onley have white milk. Are you alegeck (allergic) to any dairy? We have silk milk and just plane milk.

Love,

Me

Please tell me you love that letter! I think it’s the cutest thing going. Love that he asks about possible allergies and that he is so busy chatting (which if you know our guy, that is so very him), he forgets to actually ask for anything for Christmas!

Oh, Buddy! I love you so.

bags

This Christmas I have been making “night-night” bags for all the special little boys in our life (ok, not AAALLL of them but a bunch!). The idea behind them came from our little guy. He’s got some pretty specific “stuff” that he requires when he goes “night-night”. Unless he’s got Guy, Oma-bear, Gay-see-bear, Huskie, Little-Tiny-Bebe-bear, Oma blank and “water-cup” he ain’t settling! When we have a babysitter or when we go sleep overnight somewhere, it’s a challenge to remember everything! The idea behind these bags is to toss in everything your little monkey needs for bed when they are off to Grandma’s for a sleepover or when you are off for date night (or if you just feel like being organized at home).

Each one is customized with their initial on the front of the bag. I used the skaterdudes font for all of the letters and attached them with heat and bond lite and then a zig-zag stitch.

Inside you’ll find a little pocket for a soother or board book and a key fob to attach a favourite toy.

I’m pretty excited about how these are turning out. This is my first attempt at designing my own pattern so I’m pretty happy with how they look.

This particular bag is for our daughter’s teachers son. Hope they both like it!

elf

When I climbed into bed last night I found a little elf crashed out on my pillow.

Just makes me love Christmas all the more!

jump

This morning I heard riotous laughter coming from upstairs. I found the most fun wedding with hands down the best attire I’ve ever seen!

Love those kids of mine!