far, far away

T and I live pretty far away from all of our extended family. We are a 7 hour drive from his family and about 3800 km from my family (which translates into a 4 1/2 hour flight costing roughly $2000 to get our whole family there). We have good friends here but we are starting to feel like our kids are really missing out. When we get to spend time with our family we see how our kids flourish. They just soak up the love that their grandparents, aunts and uncles pour out on them. Our friends are great but it’s not like they are longing to spend time with our kids the way our families are. They have kids of their own and have no burning desire to take N our for hot chocolate or have a tea party with G.

Last June we visited my family for my brother’s wedding. One day N spent the afternoon with my brother and his wife. When N came back he came up to me and said, “Mom, I feel so special. They really, really love me”. It drove home to me how much my kids are missing out on by not being surrounded by their extended family’s love. Both sides of our family are so good to our kids and treat them incredibly well (it helps that they are the only grandchildren/nephew and neice on both sides!). I feel badly for our kids, our families and ourselves for living so far away. We are all missing out. I wish so much for Sunday dinner’s, casual drop in’s, my Mom’s couch, an evening alone with my husband, a weekend at the cottage with my siblings and the kids. I often feel an emptiness here that I can’t seem to fill.

I have to wonder, are we harming our kids in a way by living so far away? Would we be happier if we had our family near by? Would they? Would our kids? Have we made a big mistake raising them here?

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