when I grow up

Before our kids were born I was working on an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy. I orginally planned to finish it once our kids got older but I’m not sure that I want to anymore. Part of me feels like it’s a waste not to finish but the rest of me feels like it’s a waste to spend a lot of time and money on something I don’t feel committed to anymore. Having kids has changed my direction and focus. So the question is, what do I want to be when I grow up?

I want to be a philanthropist. I’d like to have deep pockets that I could reach into when I hear stories of need. On Sunday I heard about a man who lost everything for the love of his children and wished so much that we could have done more. What school do I go to for a degree in philanthropy?

Some people have a Mother’s helper. How about a Mother’s friend? Someone who comes to visit after your baby is born on a regular basis. Brings healthy food that is ready to eat or easily reheated. Someone who knows the value of high fibre muffins, individually frozen fruit for smoothies, precut bagels and other food you can eat with one hand. Someone who will answer your questions and not tell you to sleep train when your baby isn’t sleeping through the night by 6 weeks or advise a strict feeding schedule when your baby is still eating every 2 hours at 2 months. A Mother’s friend will watch for signs of PPD and help you ward it off before you get there. She’ll know about salmon oil and other important vitamins and supplements. She will hold your baby while you sleep and make you get out of the house for a walk when you really can’t be bothered but need to badly. A Mother’s helper would be someone who knows how to help you get your baby latch, what to do if your baby has jaundis and help you figure out how to use a sling. Someone who won’t judge you when you really aren’t loving your new life but at the same time encourage you to find joy (even if it’s one minute) in every day. Someone really awesome who shows up at your door with lasagna, dessert and chocolate, makes you feel better when you are falling apart and then cleans your toilets while you help someone else. That’s someone I’d like to be when I grow up.

Caterer/baby chef. I love to cook and I’m pretty good at it. I’d love to cater baby showers, smallish parties, brunches… I think I would specialize in baking and desserts. I recently visited a store near us that charges $15 for a dozen cookies that are good but not as good as the ones I make. Their cheese cakes cost $60! And have you noticed how hard it is to buy a decent pie? I’d also like to have a business making homemade frozen dinners. Healthy homecooked fare that comes in individual containers that you can eat after work or a busy day and not feel like you just ate an $8 piece of cardboard slathered in oil. As for the baby chef thing… home made, good tasting baby food sold in individually frozen cubes that you just take out of the bag and heat. I made all of my kids baby food (have you smelled the jarred stuff or tasted how unlike the original food it often is?) and had fun doing it. I could make 2 weeks worth of food in about 2 hours for very, very little money. When they were a bit older I went crazy with lentil stews, white fish with orange, quinoa and barley. People would buy that, wouldn’t they?

For now, I’m going to focus on keeping up with the laundry and dishes, loving my kids and being a supportive partner for my husband but it’s fun to dream a little bit about the days ahead.

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