verbal diarrhea

I’d like to post more. Really, I would. The thing is, I don’t have time. I’m hard pressed to go pee without someone screaming at the door so you can imagine how difficult it is to get through an entire post. Nearly impossible. I also don’t have a lot that is really worth sharing right now. My kids do say all kinds of funny things that I wish I recorded more (like the fact that G offered baby J her bedroom and said that she would “sleep in Daddy’s office or somewhere really” when she heard that he needed his own room but we didn’t know what we were going to do or N’s insistence on calling those handy little directions or how to’s, if you will, that come with games and DIY things “in-constructions”). Otherwise, I’m feeling rather negative and surly and really, who wants to read that crap?

The truth is that I’m tired and worn out. Big surprise. I have a baby that generally doesn’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time. 2 other kids that get me running around like one of my sister’s crisis patients and a husband who is over tired and retreating to his man cave (I loath the man cave). I know that it’s a time of life thing but it’s sucking right now to the point that I want to smack myself for ever even thinking of having four kids (really, WHAT. WAS. I. THINKING?). All I want is to go to bed when I am ready to and be able to sleep until a reasonable hour (not for an hour. UNTIL a reasonable hour). I need some sleep and I’m getting kind of pissed off about it. My get up and go is gone. To be honest, I’m even starting to feel mad at God and found myself giving him a rather cranky speech last night (I know, I know. Model Christian. Excellent demonstration of faith). Basic eating has even become a challenge with not being able to eat any dairy or eggs. I’d just like to pour myself a bowl of cereal or have a little yogurt when I drag my sorry self out of bed in the morning but I can’t do that anymore. And then I feel a bit resentful that I’ve had to totally change my eating for my baby and he doesn’t even have the decency to sleep! Truth be told, I’d eat nothing but boiled seaweed if it would help him but I’m just feeling sorry for myself and acting like a grumpy old sow.

While I’m allowing myself a rant, I would like to say that I am sick of having to deprogram my kids for a month after Christmas. They are acting entitled and rather ungrateful. I’m done with that. So very done with it. I’m not sure exactly what we are going to do about it but I swear that this was the last Christmas we allow our children to be totally sold out to the commercial side of Christmas. I doubt they even registered that we were meant to be celebrating the birth of our Saviour. That precious little baby changed the world and do you know what we did about it this year? Not much. I am ashamed by that. I am embarrassed by the attitudes we have allowed to foster in our children and the sea of excess they live with (though good intentions but none the less…). We have a serious problem here in North America with coveting and hoarding and excess and I don’t want that for my kids. Our goals for this year are simplicity and joy. That’s what I want to give my kids because they can carry that into their future’s much longer than the plastic toy of the moment on their lists.

I warned you that I’m cranky! At least I was honest. Now what was that I said about joy…?

test Filed under Me, me, me, me, Ya, I really do think… |