love
Hello.
You know that feeling you get when it’s been way too long since you’ve talked to a good friend? You want to call them and say hi but you missed their birthday or you forgot to send them a Christmas card or it’s just been so darn long that you wonder if they even want to talk to you anymore (much less remember you). I’ve been feeling like that lately.
I love this little blog (if I do say so myself!). It’s like a friend to me. A place where I can share a bit of myself and try to make sense of this funny little life of mine. I like to look back and remember little snippets here and there that the sands of time so easily sift from my mind. To recall how I was feeling in a particular season, funny things our kids said, moments I was thankful for (or, not so thankful as the case may be). There is so much beauty in everyday. This blog helps me to see it in my own life.
Sometimes, or to be more honest, OFTEN, I get overwhelmed by my life. These early years with our children are just so encompassing. Our daily life is full to overflowing. I struggle to balance all the parts of our life. Marriage, kids, relationships, our business, dreams, laundry… It’s hard to know how to fit it all in, do it well and LOVE it along the way. When I begin to feel like I’m not managing the flesh and blood part of our life well, I tend not to visit here as often as I would like. I write daily in my HEAD but it often doesn’t get translated here. I take pictures that I want to share with you but then get swamped and by the time I get around to sitting on my couch and opening a browser, the moment has passed or I can’t remember what it was I wanted to say.
January was a hard month for me. 2009 felt a lot like a snowball rolling out of control down the side of a mountain. By the time December came, it was so huge that it just swallowed up everything in it’s path and then crashed right into 2010. I am tired. Drained, really. I’ve also been sad. Annoyingly, stupidly sad and I wish that I wasn’t but I have been. Lots of good things have happened. I’ve laughed quite a bit but I’ve also cried more than I would like. I’ve spent too much time staring out a window and then regretting the wasted minutes. I’ve spent more days in my pajamas than is probably reasonable. That’s just the truth of where I’m at. It’s an uphill battle. A daily choice.
At the beginning of January I decided that my “theme” for 2010 would be LOVE. When I open my eyes and choose to see, love surrounds me. The love of God envelopes my days and cradles my life. I might not have it all figured out, but I do know this, we all need love. We crave it. We thrive on it. Love validates our humanity and assures us that we are not alone. That we matter. Life can be messy. But when it’s covered in love, it is beautiful. Love is EVERYWHERE, it’s just a matter of choosing to see it. That’s what I want to do this year. Find love in the everyday. In the little moments. The unexpected places. To choose to see love, even when I feel sad for no particular reason.
Thanks for visiting here. Your comments and e-mails make me feel loved.
(Seen on the hood of a car on the way to the park.)
Filed under Me, me, me, me, love, pictures | Comments (3)